Life is for us and when we can reflect with compassion on our childhood experiences it can bring greater understanding in the now moment and send love back to the past to heal then and now. We are all different in our experiences, we don’t know what we don’t know so let’s be kinder to ourselves and others.
I know some of you were aware from a young age of what you would be doing in the future, what you could be, or what was wrong with the world or within your family, and some things you just KNEW LIKE YOU KNEW! You had a plan, you were focused and just did what you needed to do! And some of you awoke with your innate abilities; your seeing colours or sensing fairies in the forest, or how to intuitively know what to say or do to assist others in various ways, or even learn easily. Depending on what that was for you I hope that you are grateful for your Higher Levels/SpiritSoul expression that wanted to experience that for some reason. Some of those situations would have been frightening, or condemning if you talked about it too much, others might have been curious and fun depending on your family values and insights etc. If I did have some of the above abilities they (or I) mysteriously disappeared (them!)!
I used to think I was like a sponge, absorbing everything and everyone’s ideas and then using them as mine because I thought they were good ideas. That process was for me, with all the packaging of family, beliefs and perceptions and paradigms and that I realized decades ago did not really serve me!!! really!!! And yet, looking back without judgement takes compassion and a greater understanding that I was not aware of back then. Actually, behind all that was the thought that I was stupid, I mean, who didn’t have their own opinions and knowings of things, right? Well, as I look back I now have more compassion for myself in my “not knowing” – my mom is laughing kindly from the heavens as I recall my Grade 9 English assignment on the dining room table, totally disorganized and due that morning! Me in tears, feeling so frustrated and hating English (my native language!). Now I look at my 14 year old self with loving eyes and a heart overflowing with love and compassion, with tears of love instead of frustration, and so grateful for a mother who would matter-of-factly pull it all together.
These days my intuition is much more attuned, I have started writing verses to bring clarity to my understanding of how I AM in the cosmos and on the Earth and there is so much more joy and laughter (often at myself!) in my life. I like trying lots of different things, listen to many people’s ideas of how they see the world and reflect that back into what I believe, hence this piece on my eclectic nature. And sometimes I don’t have an opinion because at times it does not serve when the opinion is a judgement.
My Eclectic Nature
in the moment
for the future of which I know not
seems like a flittering butterfly from flower to flower
tasting it all, enjoying it all .. life’s experiences
nourishing, energizing… that is me
Spirit knows – a water droplet here and there
forms a river to which I now float down
with more flow, more fluidity, more joy, more knowingness
Am I looking for THE ONE? maybe, maybe not
what if these experiences all had something for me?
something to activate a gem within to sparkle
and connects to another gem within to sparkle
and soon it’s a fireworks display coming from within –
All colours and dimensions … travels, people, places and spaces I
have experience in my 66 years.